Higher Intelligence

By Lane French

His-Story – Living the Dream

We were living the dream — or so I thought.

My wife and I had worked hard to get through college. Now we both had great jobs in the same city and were making decent money. After being students for so long, any income above the poverty line felt like abundance.

I was an experienced petroleum engineer with a master’s degree. I was successful at what I did. Working for a large corporation had its advantages — and its downsides. Other than acknowledgment from my supervisor, I often felt like just another cog in a massive wheel. There were many peripheral duties beyond engineering that came with the job. Distraction.

We had two young daughters. Within six months of this new and very busy life, I could see it was hard on them. Their little eyes showed a look of exhaustion. We were always in a rush, especially after work. The routine was relentless — pick up the girls from gymnastics, get home, fix dinner, eat, bath time, a small window of togetherness, bedtime stories, then wake up early and do it all over again.

I didn’t like it.

Sudden Impact

To add to the mix, my wife had attended the Ramtha School of Enlightenment (RSE) event during her vacation time. Her mother and aunt were living in Washington and attending many events. Now my wife wanted to move to Washington.

Great.

Petroleum engineering isn’t exactly in demand there.

I had watched and listened to many Ramtha videos and tapes myself. I was intrigued. Something in his words resonated as true. And yet, to my engineering mind, it felt “out there” — far removed from what I thought life was supposed to be.

Then came a moment that still impacts me today.

I lost my job.

I wasn’t devastated — not yet. I was too shocked to feel much of anything. But in the minutes and hours that followed, one thing became clear: I didn’t want to continue living on the edge of a cyclical industry. Layoffs were normal in oil and gas. I just hadn’t expected to be part of one.

Hello, Soul

I felt low. Perhaps the lowest I had ever felt.

So much time and effort invested in building an engineering career that now seemed uncertain — maybe even wasted. I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. I wanted to be alone and figure out what the rest of my life would look like.

It was in that solitude that something unexpected happened.

My Soul made itself known.

And when I say known, I mean the kind of known that brings you to your knees. Words cannot do it justice. I’m not sure it qualifies as an emotion. What I felt in my chest was stronger and deeper than anything I had experienced before. It didn’t speak — it didn’t need to.

I knew.

I was too overwhelmed with awe to think or act. Sometimes energy speaks louder than words. One thing became clear: I would begin a new life in Washington, and I would explore what a spiritual journey truly meant.

At that time, I wasn’t even sure what “spiritual” meant.

What’s in Store?

I can now say that the spiritual journey is as unique as each individual who walks it. My formal education and engineering prowess were of little use here.

I began attending RSE events. It hadn’t occurred to me that I couldn’t simply apply intelligence and discipline to become enlightened. Surely I could “figure it out.”

As I soon discovered, there was a great deal of old emotional debris and personality conditioning that needed clearing first.

Fast Forward – A Little

Not far into my journey, I began to see that one barrier to growth was a belief system rooted in victimization.

This didn’t begin with my layoff. It ran much deeper — back into childhood — and had quietly influenced many areas of my life. As I examined it more closely, I could see instances where I had unconsciously stepped into the role of victim.

It wasn’t a flattering discovery.

In a humbled state, however, I could admit I was flawed. In fact, I was uncovering many aspects of myself I wanted to change or release.

Victim consciousness was near the top of that list.

So I began applying what Ramtha was teaching. I assumed this layer would dissolve quickly and I would move on to other issues.

How naïve.

Getting Real

Why is it so difficult to see ourselves clearly?

I prided myself on objectivity. I believed I knew who I was, how I showed up, and how others perceived me.

I was wrong.

Applying the teachings helped — to a point. I made progress. With growing awareness, I could begin to notice when victim energy was being reflected back to me during interactions with others… and even within myself.

Yes — even within myself.

With our dualistic mind, we can become both perpetrator and victim internally. I found that revelation just as surprising as anyone might.

Lucid Dream

At another RSE event, a group of students remained in the arena to meditate. I was among them and soon entered a deep state of presence. Few experiences compare to the peace and stillness of true presence.

That peace was interrupted by a lucid and vivid dream-like experience. I’m not sure if I fell asleep — perhaps I did.

In the scene, I was walking behind my wife and daughters outside a motel. It was sunny, though I didn’t know where we were. The details blur, but what remains crystal clear is the feeling: I felt victimized by them — by all of them.

It startled me.

In both the dream and in waking life, I yelled out:

“That’s enough!”

I quickly looked around to see if I had actually spoken aloud.

I had.

In that moment, something released. An energy shifted and seemed to leave. I didn’t fully understand what it meant for my relationships — and I didn’t need to.

I simply knew I would no longer carry that victim posture in the same way.

Spirit

This wasn’t something I consciously created. My Spirit — or Higher Self — orchestrated a scenario in dreamtime to reflect a thick layer of victim consciousness back to me.

Perhaps it was the layer closest to my heart.

And perhaps it was the one that most needed to be seen.